Instant Messaging Marauders style
by don'tblameme33
Summary: The Marauders and their fellow classmates get laptops. With an instant messaging programme. To use anywhere. What could go wrong? Well...
1. Chapter 1  Date with Lily?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. At all. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this from a cardboard box eating cold peas out of a tin.

I may have lied a little there. I would _never _eat peas.

**AN: This story is really random, I know, but it's just whatever's in my head at the time. And I get inspiration from my best friends who are the weirdest and most awesome people I know.**

**I don't know how IM services usually work, but in this one, whatever they start typing comes up straight away, so they can get cut off a lot. But they can delete conversations as well. Well, some of them can. The ones the teachers think are responsible enough. So in this, basically Lily and Remus. Go Remus! Set in their fourth year.**

**Names of characters:**

**Remus Lupin – FurryLittleProblem**

**Sirius Black – SeriousLeeWhite**

**Peter Pettigrew – LittleRat**

**James Potter – LovingLily**

**Lily Evans – NoChance_James**

**Severus Snape – HalfBloodPrince **

**Albus Dumbledore – Albus_Dumbledore **

**IM: Marauders style.**

Chapter one: Date with Lily?

LovingLily has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily: Oh. All by myself. Tralalalalaala, tralalaalalaa, dobeedo, dobeedoooooooooooooo...

LittleRat has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily: ...ooooooooooooooooo...

LittleRat: James? Hi! What are you...

LovingLily: ...oooooooooooooo...

LittleRat: James! What are you doing? I...

LovingLily: ...ooooooooooooo! All done. Hey Wormtail!

LittleRat: Prongs, I need to ask you, what did McGonnagal...

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

LittleRat: Dammit! I hate it cutting me off mid...

FurryLittleProblem has entered the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: ro8934rkgrereopgr3~G:gm

SeriousLeeWhite: And a ro8934rkgrereopgr3~G:gm to you too, Moony!

FurryLittleProblem: Sorry Padfoot, computer keeps playing up.

LittleRat: _As _I was saying before I was so _rudely _interrupted by Moony and Padfoot, I needed to ask you a question. What did...

HalfBloodPrince has entered the chatroom.

LittleRat: Oh, for the love of...

HalfBloodPrince: Language, Pettigrew. Professor Slughorn was looking for you, Black, and he doesn't sound very happy about it.

SeriousLeeWhite: You snivelling git, Snivellous! I suppose you came on here to rat me out, you sneaky, slimy... Oh crap!

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince: No, actually, I'm here to gloat. James, would you be able to guess who has a date with Lily Evans on Friday in Hogsmeade.

LovingLily: If you say _you_, I swear I'll curse you through the computer until your *ahem*, until _something _turns green and falls off!

HalfBloodPrince: ...Right, it's not me.

HalfBloodPrince has left the chatroom.

LittleRat: What was that all about?

FurryLittleProblem: Oh, Prongs, I'm so sorry! Must be tough for you, mate.

LovingLily: I'll kill him. I'll string him up by his...

LittleRat: What's going on?

Loving Lily: PISS OFF WORMTAIL!

LittleRat: Bye then.

LittleRat has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Well, that was a bit harsh.

LovingLily: Yeah.

FurryLittleProblem: QWeRtYJmHcJJf

LovingLily: Yeah... What?

FurryLittleProblem: Computer playing up. Don't know why. It keeps typing stuff when I don't want it to.

LovingLily: So what do I do? I don't want to lose her.

FurryLittleProblem: Just stop going after her. Don't always agree with everything she says. Be your own person. Stop being so cruel to Snivellous. I mean Severus. And that head of yours could do with a little deflating as well.

LovingLily: Yeah! That might work! From now on I'll stop showering her with flowers and Honeydukes finest. I'm not going to speak to her for a month...

NoChance_James has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily: Hi Lily! X X 3 XD

FurryLittleProblem: Not exactly what I meant, mate.

NoChance_James: ...Need I say more?

LovingLily: Why not? We're perfect for each other! Come on, just think about it!

NoChance_James: ...No.

LovingLily: Why? What are you doing Friday?

NoChance_James: Going to Hogsmeade. Why?

FurryLittleProblem: James...

LovingLily: Because I was just thinking, maybe you and me could...

NoChance_James: Sorry, I'm already going with someone else.

LovingLily: Oh. Is it Snivellous?

NoChance_James: Yes. And don't call him Snivellous, it's Severus.

LovingLily. Oh. :(

LovingLily has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Are you really going with Severus?

NoChance_James: No.

FurryLittleProblem: Because he said you were just a minute ago.

NoChance_James: Did he? Did he now? Right, got to do something.

NoChance_James has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: ...Well that was awkward. ... Hey, I'm all by myself. I can say what I like! Dumbledore is gay.

Dumbledore is gay.

Dumbledore is gay.

Dumbledore is gay.

Dumbledore is...

Albus_Dumbledore has entered the chatoom.

FurryLittleProblem: ...gay.

Dumbledore is gay.

Albus_Dumbledore: Remus?

FurryLittleProblem has left the chatroom.

Albus_Dumbledore: Man, that kid's good.

Albus_Dumbledore has left the chatroom.

**AN: I know everyone says this, but can you please review? It's my first story on this site, and I want to know if it's actually worth me writing stories on here. And if it's worth writing more of this 'story'. **

**And if you're on here, reading these, then you clearly have nothing better to do, and no real excuse for not reviewing. And if you **_**do **_**have work, then you're obviously trying not to do any of your work, and reviewing is a good excuse to waste time. Either way, review if you want to, or if you want more! Love you all for actually reading the story :D.**


	2. Chapter 2  Toast

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't be sheltering next to a car in Scotland at three in the morning while it's raining, roasting a bee whilst trying to figure out where exactly Hogwarts actually _is_.

I may have lied a little. I don't have a car.

**AN: Special thanks to **_**MarauderGirl52**_**, **_**invisemmble**_**, **_**Just-As-Loony-As-Luna**_** and **_**Bolt and Chi-Chi**_** for being my first ever reviewers. You're great! ;)**

**Sorry if Snape and Sirius are a little OOC. It's not on purpose; it's just what happens if I know I'm meant to be doing my history essay but really don't want to. Promise!**

**So, to recap. Names:**

**Sirius Black – SeriousLeeWhite**

**James Potter – LovingLily**

**Lily Evans – NoChance_James**

**Severus Snape – HalfBloodPrince**

**IM Marauder style**

Chapter 2: Toast

HalfBloodPrince has entered the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince: Stupid fucking toast! I hate...

NoChance_James has entered the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince: ...it, undercooked, couldn't eat...

NoChance_James: Aw, hon, what's wrong?

HalfBloodPrince: I'm HUNGRY!

NoChance_James: Aww :(. But you were at breakfast. I saw you eat some toast. You can't be hungry.

HalfBloodPrince: The toast. Was. Inedible.

NoChance_James: ...How so?

HalfBloodPrince: It was undercooked! I can't eat undercooked toast!

NoChance_James: It was fine! Golden-brown. No problem with it at all. No black bits. :)

HalfBloodPrince: Exactly! The black bits are good! The blacker, the better.

NoChance_James: No, it's not good if it's black. It's burnt if it's black.

HalfBloodPrince: It tastes good if it's black.

NoChance_James: But...But surely the toast at breakfast was okay to eat?

HalfBloodPrince: No, it's awful.

NoChance_James: Oh come on Severus, don't be fussy!

LovingLily has entered the chatroom.

NoChance_James: I wasn't that fond of the toast either. I don't like mine like that. I like mine barely cooked and smothered with mayonnaise.

LovingLily: Really? Me too!

NoChance_James: Really? Cool! I'm eating some right now! How about you?

LovingLily: Erm... We've got some mayo in the fridge. Hold on...

LovingLily has left the chatroom.

NoChance_James: Well that was a bit mean, but you know what he's like.

HalfBloodPrince: That was geni... What does it taste like?

NoChance_James: Awful. Well, okay, but not with the old mayo in the Griffindor fridge.

HalfBloodPrince: That was genius! What else have you made him do?

NoChance_James: Do you remember when James suddenly became obsessed with the rose bushes around school?

HalfBloodPrince: Yes...

NoChance_James: And at one point he cut some off and wore them in his hair and on his robes?

HalfBloodPrince: Oh wow! He did that for you?

NoChance_James: I told him I liked boys who wore roses. After talking about them for a week before.

HalfBloodPrince: That's just weird. Shall we see what else we can make him do?

NoChance_James: Really sweet, right? But I don't like doing it too much because... Well it's just mean! It's really sweet though. I don't know how he can be so mean to you!

HalfBloodPrince: Because he's a bastard, that's why!

NoChance_James: Severus! Watch your language!

HalfBloodPrince: Hungry = grumpy.

Grumpy = bad language.

Therefore hungry = bad language!

NoChance_James: And all because of some non-burnt toast!

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: Erm, Lily?

NoChance_James: Yes, Sirius?

SeriousLeeWhite: Well, not that you'd know or anything, but just wondering, _do _you know why James is sitting on his bed with his laptop pulling faces and eating something white on a piece of bread?

NoChance_James: :D

HalfBloodPrince: He is! He really is!

SeriousLeeWhite: Oh, Merlin, it's you.

NoChance_James: He thinks it's how I like my toast. Because we were talking about toast, then he came online and I remembered the really old mayo in the fridge and I thought 'Why not?'.

SeriousLeeWhite: The one on the bottom shelf? In the left hand corner?

NoChance_James: Yes. Why?

SeriousLeeWhite: That's bad. That's really bad. Why were you talking about toast?

NoChance_James: Because Severus was complaining about being hungry, because he refused to eat the toast.

SeriousLeeWhite: Why? What was wrong with the toast? It was perfect!

HalfBloodPrince: It was GOLDEN! I like my toast to be black. Black and greasy.

SeriousLeeWhite: Like your soul?

HalfBloodPrince: Like your name!

SeriousLeeWhite: Like your hair! If you want something black and greasy, just let me painfully rip some of those disgusting hairs from your body and shove them down your vile neck.

NoChance_James: Sirius, don't be mean!

HalfBloodPrince: Don't you dare! You are not touching a hair on my head!

SeriousLeeWhite: Never said it was from your head, if you know what I mean ;)

HalfBloodPrince: Euurrrgh! Don't be vile!

SeriousLeeWhite: I'm not being vile. Just... pointing out your obvious lack of hygiene. And telling you what's going to be on your plate tomorrow if you don't like the quality of the toast. You'll be eating it all...

HalfBloodPrince: I need to vomit.

HalfBloodPrince has left the chatroom.

NoChance_James: That was very mean of you!

SeriousLeeWhite: Yeah, I know. Kind of like making a boy whose only crime is to love you eat mayonnaise that's a year out of date, almost making him choke in the process.

NoChance_James: ...Good point. Truce?

SeriousLeeWhite: Sure!

NoChance_James: Now all I need to do is delete the conversation from when Potter logged off.

SeriousLeeWhite: James.

NoChance_James: What?

SeriousLeeWhite: It's James, not Potter.

NoChance_James: Whatever. And... All done.

LovingLily has entered the chatroom.

NoChance_James: Happy now?

LovingLily: Yep :D

NoChance_James: All fine?

LovingLily: Yes, why?

NoChance_James: Nothing, nothing, just wondering why I can hear gagging noises coming from the boys' dorms.

LovingLily: Oh, that. That's Sirius. He...

NoChance_James: Yeah, he told me about the mayonnaise.

LovingLily: What about the mayo?

NoChance_James: Oh nothing. It's just that apparently, he's been through some tests recently, and one of them was... Well, to do with fatherhood. I'll put it that way.

LovingLily: And what's that got to do with mayo?

NoChance_James: Well, he had to have a sample of, well, _something_. And he had nowhere else to put it, so he put it in an old mayo jar. Hey, you hungry?

LovingLily: Oh, _MERLIN! _

NoChance_James: What?

LovingLily has left the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: Ha ha lol!

NoChance_James: I'd forgotten you were on here!

SeriousLeeWhite: I'm a master of disguise!

NoChance_James: Okay...

SeriousLeeWhite: But, hey, how did you know about the mayo jar?

NoChance_James: What? It's true? Are you serious?

SeriousLeeWhite: Well... Yeah! Except you spell it S-i-r...

NoChance_James: Shut up! Is it true or not?

SeriousLeeWhite: Erm... Let's see...No.

NoChance_James: Right. Well, revenge is sweet! Oh damn, got to go!

NoChance_James has left the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: Revenge is sweet. Yep, definitely. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Revenge must be ice-cream!

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

**Thank you once again to anybody who has taken time to read this all the way to the end. I appreciate reviews, of course!**

**And to my best friends, Uniqueness and Enthusiasm (no, your name is not LunaTic!). In the previous entry, Remus typed out the following: 'QWeRtYJmHcJJf'. You two should be able to figure out something on here to do with **_**my **_**own name, Obsessiveness. Last seven letters. Sorry that this discludes most people on here, but I had to include this and none of you will get it.**

**Thanks for reading. Review if you want more!**


	3. Chapter 3  Drunk

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't be outside McDonalds in the cold talking to myself whilst holding up a piece of cardboard saying: ''Please can somebody buy me a Big Mac. They won't let me go in any more.''

I may have lied a little there. I don't have any cardboard.

**AN: Thank you to MarauderGirl52 and WitchOfDarkness13 for their reviews of the second chapter. Very kind of you to take time out of your lives to say something nice about my story.**

**Sorry I've not updated for a week. It's really awful, I know! I'll try to update faster next time. Promise!**

**Names:**

**Lily Evans – NoChance_James**

**James Potter – LovingLily**

**Remus Lupin – FurryLittleProblem**

**Sirius Black – SeriousLeeWhite**

Chapter 3 – Drunk

FurryLittleProblem has entered the chatroom.

NoChance_James has entered the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Hey Lily :)

NoChance_James: Hi Remus.

FurryLittleProblem: It's strange, isn't it?

NoChance_James: Erm... Sorry, you've lost me.

FurryLittleProblem: I mean _this. _Talking to you, and we're so far away from each other. I mean, I'm in the common room right now, and you're somewhere too. Where are you anyway?

NoChance_James: In the dorms.

FurryLittleProblem: Which ones? You know what, just figured it out, never mind :) :) :) :) ;)

NoChance_James: Are you okay, Remus?

FurryLittleProblem: I'm fineeeee! Just fine! James gave me something to drink earlier, and it's made me feel HAPPY :D

NoChance_James: I don't think you're fine. You keep typing on here, but I'm not sure you know what you're saying.

FurryLittleProblem: No, no, no, no, no, no, James said I'd be fiiiiiiiiine. It was something to help with... stuff.

NoChance_James: Seriously, you're not fine. What did it say on the label?

FurryLittleProblem: I don't know. He gave it to me in a little goblet, and told me to drink it. Hey, where are you?

NoChance_James: Remus, I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to try to remember as best as you can, okay?

FurryLittleProblem: Okay. There's a big red button on the laptop. What happens if I press it?

NoChance_James: Nothing, okay. Ignore the red button. What did this drink look like that James gave to you?

FurryLittleProblem: Erm... I can't really remember. It was AGES ago. I think... Wow, my fingers are really pale!

NoChance_James: Think, please, Remus, this could be important.

FurryLittleProblem: It was clear orange, I think, and it tasted reeeeeeally funny. He said it was called 'whiskey' B)

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

NoChance_James: Are you serious?

SeriousLeeWhite: No, _I'm_ Sirius!

FurryLittleProblem: Heyyyyy Paddy, come and join the fun!

NoChance_James: Come on Sirius, that joke's getting old! Remus, I think you should...

FurryLittleProblem: Siriusss, have you tried this stuff? It's grEAT!

SeriousLeeWhite: What stuff, what stuff? Why has no one told me about this?

FurryLittleProblem: I love you, Black, I love you. I don't tell you often enough. I should really tell you more often! Why is the room spinning?

SeriousLeeWhite: Are you okay? You don't sound so good.

NoChance_James: No, he's not. James gave him some whiskey to drink, and now I think he's drunk.

FurryLittleProblem: Noooooooo! No way am I drunk! I'm just happeeyyyy ;)

SeriousLeeWhite: Siriusly? James found some whiskey? Cool, where?

NoChance_James: Sirius! It doesn't matter! We need to get him to a teacher, right away!

SeriousLeeWhite: Doesn't it matter?

NoChance_James: Actually, you'd better tell me, where did James get the whiskey?

FurryLittleProblem: How should I know? Hey, Becca, fancy a date tomorrow?

NoChance_James: Becca? Who are you...

FurryLittleProblem: Lily. I meant Lily.

SeriousLeeWhite: Hey hey, my furry little buddy, don't be stealing James's little darling from him!

NoChance_James: What? What's wrong with you, Sirius?

SeriousLeeWhite: ...I'm not following.

FurryLittleProblem: Heyyyy, that's what she said earlier!

NoChance_James: No it isn't. You're really drunk. Sirius, get James online NOW.

SeriousLeeWhite: No problemo ;)

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Something's not right with him, I can FEEL it! gbgbgghghq

NoChance_James: Remus?

FurryLittleProblem: Oof, just fell over. I thought I heard a bee in here earlier. Can you hear it? It's a weird buzzing. Hey, I think there's a mirror in here! It keeps moving. Where are you?

LovingLily has entered the chatroom.

NoChance_James: JAMES POTTER! -_-

LovingLily: Lily, my love, have you finally come to your senses? Have you finally realised that I am the only...

NoChance_James: What have you done to Remus?

LovingLily: What do you mean, what have I done to Remus? He always looks like that!

FurryLittleProblem: Thanks, mate. And hey, whenever you need me, I'll be there. I love you, man!

NoChance_James: Can you see what I mean?

LovingLily: Oh yeah! I remember now! I gave him some whiskey to drink, because I'd heard it helped with... something.

FurryLittleProblem: But it DIDN'T. I still feel like...

NoChance_James: What _problem_? Seriously, what are you guys not telling me?

FurryLittleProblem: That I'm a w...

LovingLily: Nothing, nothing, it's not important.

FurryLittleProblem: So, Becca, you wanna?

LovingLily: Who's he talking to?

NoChance_James: I have no idea, but I'm gonna tell you this, Potter. You're going to pay for taking advantage of your friend like that. I'll make you pay _dearly_...

LovingLily: Eeep!

LovingLily has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Lily, I think I've got a problem. I don't feel too good. My brain feels like a wet cake. There's bits of it falling away.

NoChance_James: Oh Merlin. Remus, stay there, I'm coming to get you. I think you need to go to the hospital wing.

NoChance_James has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: At last, my evil plan is coming together. Mwah ha. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa! Oh shit!

FurryLittleProblem has left the chatroom.

**AN: Thanks again if you've read this far. I really appreciate it. I like to know that I'm not actually wasting my life away. And once again, I appreciate reviews. Let me know if you want a character in here that I haven't got yet, or if you have a certain event you want to see. I've got nothing better to do, trust me. I already know all my Latin vocab :D**


	4. Chapter 4 Singing Things

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't be sleeping under a blanket outside Bill Gates's house, waiting until he got fed up of me and paid me to leave.

I may have lied a little. I don't have a blanket.

**AN: I wrote this in one go, without knowing what I was writing. I don't think it's as good as the others, but please read it. Thanks to all of my reviewers, and the people who put me on alerts or favourites XD This is for you! **

Chapter 4 - Singing things

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

FurryLittle Problem has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: Moony! I've been looking for you!

FurryLittleProblem: Oh. Have you?

SeriousLeeWhite: Yes.

FurryLittleProblem: Right. Why?

SeriousLeeWhite: Always the suspicious one, aren't you? Siriusly, where are you?

FurryLittleProblem: In the

SeriousLeeWhite: Library.

FurryLittleProblem: Well, yes! How did you guess?

SeriousLeeWhite: Because you're always in the library now.

FurryLittleProblem: What do you mean, now?

SeriousLeeWhite: By that, I mean I haven't seen you in lunch all week. Are you okay, mate?

FurryLittleProblem: But... If you knew where I was, why did you have to ask?

SeriousLeeWhite: Just emphasising how often you spend in there.

FurryLittleProblem: ...

HalfBloodPrince has entered the chatroom.

FurryLittle Problem: Oh, hello, Severus.

HalfBloodPrince: Enough of the friendly talk. Where is it?

FurryLittleProblem: ...Sorry, you've lost me. Where's what?

HalfBloodPrince: You know perfectly well what. Now tell me where it is!

FurryLittleProblem: I'm sorry, Severus, I really don't know what you're talking about!

HalfBloodPrince: Yes you do! You stole

SeriousLeeWhite: I wouldn't go making accusations if I were you.

HalfBloodPrince: What do you want, Black?

FurryLittleProblem: It's okay, Sirius. He's obviously confused about something.

HalfBloodPrince: No, I am NOT! You know where it is! You took it from my bag during Charms!

FurryLittleProblem: Severus, I'm really sorry, but I can't help you unless I know what you're talking about. What do you think I took?

HalfBloodPrince: My hat! My beautiful, wooly, hand-knitted HAT!

SeriousLeeWhite: What, are your ears going to get cold? Will your greasy hair be seen? My advice for you - take a shower!

NoChance_James has entered the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince: Lilyflower, you'll help me, won't you? Lupin took

NoChance_James: How many times have I asked you not to call me Lilyflower? And why do you always refer to everyone except me by their surname? It doesn't make you better than them, so why try it?

HalfBloodPrince: I... erm, I mean, I... Fine, if you're going to be like that!

HalfBloodPrince has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Hello Lily. You don't seem very happy.

NoChance_James: Wow, we've got a genius in our midst.

FurryLittleProblem: There's no need to be like that now, is there, Lily? What's wrong? Is it James?

NoChance_James: Yes, it is. He's somehow managed to get a lot of Valentines chocolates and flowers into our dorms, and all of them are addressed to me. He's even got a ladybird soft toy, and it won't stop SINGING!

FurryLittleProblem: But it's not even Valentine's Day! It's April!

NoChance_James: I know.

FurryLittleProblem: Who on earth would think THAT was a good idea?

SeriousLeeWhite: Oh, erm

FurryLittleProblem: Come on, Paddy, you aren't telling me it was YOUR idea?

NoChance_James: Sirius. Are you telling me that you're the reason none of us have slept properly for a week?

SeriousLeeWhite: Well, I kind of

NoChance_James: YOU STUPID LITTLE

LovingLily has entered the chatroom.

NoChance_James: PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN! I HAVE NOT SLEPT FOR A WEEK BECAUSE OF YOU! DID YOU REALLY THINK IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT A SINGING BUG IN MY BED?

LovingLily: I'm sorry Lilyflower, I didn't realise you felt so strongly about it. I thought it would be a good idea!

FurryLittleProblem: I think she's talking to Sirius, mate.

SeriousLeeWhite: Sorry, Lils. I really didn't know

NoChance_James: Didn't know what?

SeriousLeeWhite: Well if you hadn't have cut me off just as I was about to say it, then maybe you'd know by now.

NoChance_James: Right. No, you're right. I'm being unreasonable. Sorry.

SeriousLeeWhite: No, I'm sorry.

NoChance_James: Truce?

SeriousLeeWhite: Okay.

LovingLily: I'm sorry too. Forgive me?

NoChance_James: I never forgive you, and you know it!

LovingLily: But I

NoChance_James has left the chatroom.

LovingLily: Well, that was harsh.

FurryLittleProblem: Sorry, mate.

LovingLily: It's okay. One day she'll realise how much she loves me. It's only a matter of time.

SeriousLeeWhite: So what was the hat thing all about anyway?

LovingLily: What hat thing? What did I miss?

SeriousLeeWhite: Snivellous is under the impression that Moony stole his hat.

FurryLittleProblem: I can speak for myself, thanks. Sorry, that sounds too rude. Forget I said it.

LovingLily: Well that's ridiculous.

FurryLittleProblem: What, the hat?

LovingLily: What else?

FurryLittleProblem: ...

LovingLily: Oh damn it. I have to... go.

LovingLily has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Five Galleons says Lily's found him.

SeriousLeeWhite: Oh no you... Fine. Five Galleons. So what about the hat.

FurryLittleProblem: Where are you? Common room?

SeriousLeeWhite: Yup!

FurryLittleProblem: Go upstairs.

SeriousLeeWhite: Why?

FurryLittleProblem: Just do it. Look on your bed.

SeriousLeeWhite: Why? What's up there?

FurryLittle Problem: A present for you.

SeriousLeeWhite: Ooh, pressies!

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Pressies? Is he four? ... Best not think about that.

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: ... What is it?

FurryLittleProblem: It's a singing hat! Enjoy!

FurryLittleProblem has left the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: What the? Moony, come back! It's singing love songs at me! HELP!

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

**AN: Please review! Thanks for reading :D**


	5. Chapter 5 Interruptions

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Otherwise I wouldn't be writing this in a cardboard box outside Macdonalds (I hang around there a lot), begging for money to at least pay the rent if not eat.

I may have lied a little. I don't have a cardboard box.

**AN: 31 reviews. Wow. Never expected to get that many for 4 chapters. Thanks to everyone who's review, added to favourites, etc. You're all great, everyone who reads this. I love you all XD**

**Just to recap.**

**James Potter = LovingLily**

**Remus Lupin = FurryLittleProblem**

**Sirius Black = SeriousLeeWhite**

**Peter Pettigrew = LittleRat**

**Severus Snape = HalfBloodPrince**

**Lily Evans = NoChance_James**

**Albus Dumbledore = Albus_Dumbledore**

**IM Marauder Style**

Chapter Four: Interruptions

LovingLily has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily: I'm alone. Always alone. No one to

HalfBloodPrince has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily: talk to, nothing to do.

HalfBloodPrince: Talking to yourself, are you, Potter?

LovingLily: Oh, it's you.

HalfBloodPrince: And what do you mean by that?

LovingLily: You know exactly what I mean, Snivellous. I

LittleRat has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily: hate you, you sneaky, slimy, little rat!

LittleRat: Oh. Bye.

LittleRat has left the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince: Well look what you did there! Tut tut, you should really avoid offending me in future.

LovingLily: I. Hate. You.

HalfBloodPrince: Aww... You know you love me really. For goodness sake, Potter, do you really think I care? I'm closer to Evans than you'll ever be.

LovingLily:You

FurryLittleProblem has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily: beastly, greasy, hairy bastard!

FurryLittleProblem: I can tell when I'm not wanted.

FurryLittleProblem has left the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince: You've really done it this time! Potter, I don't care that you hate me. I have Evans, and you don't.

LovingLily: I

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily: am so going to KILL you, you filthy, useless stalker!

SeriousLeeWhite: That's lovely. Really lovely. Anything else to add?

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince: You see, I don't even have to do anything. All you have to do is insult me, and my work here is done. You see, Potter

NoChance_James has entered the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince: I, unlike you, have Evans, so I, unlike you

NoChance_James: What's going on here?

HalfBloodPrince: I... Er, I

NoChance_James: You don't OWN me, Severus, nobody does! And please, stop calling me Evans.

HalfBloodPrince: I didn't! I mean, it wasn't my fault

NoChance_James: Are you trying to wriggle out of this?

HalfBloodPrince: No.

NoChance_James: You don't own me, do you?

HalfBloodPrince: No, Lilyflower, I just

NoChance_James: DON'T call me Lilyflower!

HalfBloodPrince: I...

HalfBloodPrince has left the chatroom.

LovingLily: Ha ha ha ha ha! That showed him!

NoChance_James: Do you think I did it for your sake?

LovingLily: I... er...I

NoChance_James: I did it because I'm sick of him acting like he's better than the rest of us!

LovingLily: And he isn't! Right?

NoChance_James: Well he's a much better man than you are, anyway.

LovingLily: Oh come on, Lilyflower, he's not BETTER than me. We're

NoChance_James: Don't even THINK about saying you two are equals.

LovingLily: I wasn't

NoChance_James: Are you trying to deny it?

LovingLily: But I wasn't!

NoChance_James: You, James, are a

Albus_Dumbledore has entered the chatroom.

NoChance_James: lying, cheating, talentless twat, who can't do anything of the slightest bit of use!

Albus_Dumbledore: Miss Evans?

NoChance_James has left the chatroom.

LovingLily: Oh, sir! It wasn't you she was insulting! It was me!

Albus_Dumbledore: Was it? And why would Miss Evans be insulting you?

LovingLily: Because she hates me, sir.

Albus_Dumbledore: Does she really? Well, Mr Potter, I must just ask you, what would gove you that impression?

LovingLily: ...Why do you ask, sir?

Albus_Dumbledore: Because I don't believe she hates you at all. Quite the contrary.

LovingLily: Really, sir?

Albus_Dumbledore: Oh yes! When have I ever lied to you?

LovingLily: Well sir, there was that time in my first year when you told us that we'd die if we went into the Forbidden Forest at night, and I didn't die. Then you said that I would get a detention if I did it again, and I didn't, and then you said that becoming an Animagus was impossible for somebody my age, and THEN you said

Albus_Dumbledore: It was a rhetorical question, Mr Potter. I am not pleased to learn that you ignored my advice regarding the Forbidden Forest. But what was the significance of the Animagus?

LovingLily: ... Nothing, sir!

Albus_Dumbledore: Oh. I just thought, maybe you and Mr Black, and Mr Pettigrew were learning to become Animagi in order to accompany Mr Lupin during the once a month he becomes a werewolf, and keep him in order whilst the four of you run amok in the school grounds, putting many students lives in danger and laughing about it later, all of this completely illegal of course, and then use this transformation in later life to your advantages, like for example escaping from Azkaban or sneaking into Hogwarts, both of these possible merely because you were afraid to tell me to start off with, which eventually led to the return of Voldemort and the death of a lot of innocent people before he was defeated by a seventeen year old boy with a scar on his forehead.

LovingLily: ...

Albus_Dumbledore: Just a thought. Goodbye now, I must water my pansies.

Albus_Dumbledore has left the chatroom.

LovingLily: Water his pansies? What the hell is he talking about? ... Oh right, I'm all alone on here. And now I'm talking to myself. That's normal.

LovingLily has left the chatroom.


	6. Chapter 6 Says who?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't be in your cupboard right now, using my plastic fork to prise open a tin of custard.

I may have lied a little there. I don't have a fork.

**AN: As with the others, this is completely random, and I barely know what I'm writing as I'm doing this. It just pops into my head. I'm really thankful for all of the reviews (42 at the mo!) and favs and alerts I've got. Wish my other stories were as popular :(**

**I don't actually mind. People like this story. So I like those people. Thanks for reading. Enjoy!**

**I do not share Sirius's views on ballet. It's for both genders. Ever seen Billy Elliot, Siri?**

Just to recap:

**LovingLily** - **James Potter**

**SeriousLeeWhite **-** Sirius Black**

**FurryLittleProblem** -** Remus Lupin**

**NoChance_James** -** Lily Evans**

**IM Marauders Style**

Chapter 6 - Says who?

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: Hey Prongs.

LovingLily: Hey...

SeriousLeeWhite: ...What have you done now?

LovingLily: ...I don't know what you mean!

SeriousLeeWhite: Come on, James, I know you too well. You've either done something evil, or you're planning to.

LovingLily: I'm mortally offended! To think you distrust me so much!

SeriousLeeWhite: Am I right though?

LovingLily: Well... yes. But that's not the point! Why did you accuse me of planning a prank with no evidence?

SeriousLeeWhite: ... I saw you scribble something in your diary. It looked pretty suspicious to me.

LovingLily: Okay, fine. You know me too we... I don't have a diary!

SeriousLeeWhite: Who's Julianne?

LovingLily: No comment.

SeriousLeeWhite: What have you done?

LovingLily: Wait and see.

SeriousLeeWhite: What's ballet? It's that muggle dance, isn't it? The one for girls and

NoChance_James has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: Sissys.

NoChance_James: What're we talking about?

SeriousLeeWhite: I'm in doubt about James's sexuality.

NoChance_James: Aren't we all?

LovingLily: But... Lilyflower, I love you! I couldn't be gay!

NoChance_James: And where's the proof of that?

SeriousLeeWhite: Well... he keeps writing about it in his diary. He does like you an awful lot.

NoChance_James: He keeps a diary?

LovingLily: I do not! Liar!

SeriousLeeWhite: Fancy telling us all about Julianne?

NoChance_James: Who's this?

LovingLily: No comment.

NoChance_James: Please? Pretty pretty please? Tell me.

LovingLily: She's my babysitter.

SeriousLeeWhite: Your... what? You still have a babysitter?

NoChance_James: You've just made my day XD

LovingLily: What do I get for telling you?

NoChance_James: What makes you think I'm going to give you anything for it?

LovingLily: Please? Pretty pretty please?

NoChance_James: Doesn't work on me, I'm afraid.

LovingLily: Can I at least give you one little kiss?

NoChance_James: You can kiss my arse if you like.

LovingLily: XD

NoChance_James: ... Bollocks.

SeriousLeeWhite: Don't tempt him. He will try to.

NoChance_James: But I know you have a diary. And I know where you keep it. You can't do a thing to me, or... well. You know.

LovingLily: Or what?

NoChance_James: Or your diary goes public. Everyone in school reads it.

LovingLily: You wouldn't _dare_! And anyway, I don't have a diary. I keep trying to tell you!

SeriousLeeWhite: What _shade_ was your mothers lipstick?

LovingLily: I hate you.

SeriousLeeWhite: Awww... I love you too!

NoChance_James: What? What's going on now?

SeriousLeeWhite: He

LovingLily: What did he look like?

SeriousLeeWhite: What did _who_ look like?

LovingLily: Brian Philipps.

SeriousLeeWhite: Truce?

LovingLily: ...No.

SeriousLeeWhite: Okay. I'll tell Lilyflower all about

NoChance_James: **Don't** call me Lilyflower!

LovingLily: Good point, Siri. However, I don't think so. You've told some of my secrets, so I'll tell some of yours. It's only fair.

SeriousLeeWhite: Says who?

NoChance_James: Says me. Tell me, James. Who's Brian Phillips?

SeriousLeeWhite: It's spelt 'Philipps'.

LovingLily: Sirius kissed him once. Three years ago. Round about. Siri had a crush on him.

NoChance_James: Oooooh!

SeriousLeeWhite: I'll kill you for that, mate. I really will!

LovingLily: It's perfectly fair though. What're you going to do?

SeriousLeeWhite: Well...

FurryLittleProblem has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: **JAMES TRIED ON SOME OF HIS MUM'S LIPSTICK WHEN SHE WAS OUT!**

LovingLily: YOU

SeriousLeeWhite: And he enjoyed it so much he tried some of her other makeup as well. And a pair of high heels. And

FurryLittleProblem: Wow, James, never knew that was your style!

LovingLily: You are dead. You really are this time.

SeriousLeeWhite: Rem, can you take a look at me please?

FurryLittleProblem: Where are you?

SeriousLeeWhite: Look behind you.

FurryLittleProblem: How long have you been there?

NoChance_James: Where is he?

FurryLittleProblem: He's been hiding on the bookshelf, amongst the books. I haven't heard him come in, and I've been here nearly an hour, so...

LovingLily: You stalker, Siri!

SeriousLeeWhite: Hey, I just wanted some quiet.

FurryLittleProblem: You've been watching me for an hour. You should have told me you were there to start with.

SeriousLeeWhite: Yes, but then you'd have made me revise with you.

FurryLittleProblem: Yeah, but... An _hour_. You've got to admit, that's vaguely disturbing.

LovingLily: Not as disturbing as sitting on the branch of a tree with a pair of binoculars, just to spy on a Muggle girl changing in her bedroom. Oh, did I mention, he walked three miles to get to her house in the first place?

NoChance_James: ...

FurryLittleProblem: That's creepy, Siri.

SeriousLeeWhite: She was pretty. I just wanted to find out where she lived, but then I had to climb the tree to escape a stray dog and it wouldn't let me down. That's all.

LovingLily: And why did you have your binoculars on you?

SeriousLeeWhite: ...

NoChance_James: LOL

LovingLily: What does that mean?

NoChance_James: ;)

LovingLily: ?

NoChance_James: !

FurryLittleProblem: ?

NoChance_James: :|

FurryLittleProblem: ?

LovingLily: :O

NoChance_James: :`(

LovingLily: ?

FurryLittleProblem: :

SeriousLeeWhite: WTF?

FurryLittleProblem: :-#

SeriousLeeWhite: K

LovingLily: ?

NoChance_James: :D

FurryLittleProblem: Why are we suddenly all talking like this?

SeriousLeeWhite: No idea. James started it.

LovingLily: What the hell? It was Lily!

NoChance_James: You're blaming me for this?

LovingLily: ...No?

NoChance_James: Liar. Annnnnyway...

LovingLily: Whaaaaaat?

NoChance_James: I'd best be going. The Slug Club's having a meeting, and I can't upset Slughorn by not showing up. Bye everybody!

FurryLittleProblem: Have fun.

SeriousLeeWhite: Bye.

LovingLily: I

NoChance_James has left the chatroom.

LovingLily: She likes me. I can tell.

SeriousLeeWhite: ..._How_?

LovingLily: She was being flirty with me. She said LOL.

SeriousLeeWhite: But

LovingLily: Well I'd best be off too. Lilyflower'll want some help dressing ;)

LovingLily has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Well that was the second most peverted goodbye he's ever said to us.

SeriousLeeWhite: Do you reckon he knows what LOL means?

FurryLittleProblem: He thinks it's still 'Lots of Love'. Poor guy. And... Sirius?

SeriousLeeWhite: Yeeees?

FurryLittleProblem: Earlier, you asked me to take a look at you. Why?

SeriousLeeWhite: Oh, that. I'd forgotten about that. It was just cause Prongs'd said I was dead, so I wanted you to tell him that I wasn't.

FurryLittleProblem: So it was nothing to do with... you know?

SeriousLeeWhite: No.

FurryLittleProblem: Oh good

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Good job I've found your diary, anyw

Stop reading over my shoulder, Siri.

Stop it.

I mean it!

Stop

'/~W)i/'hy/'Ih

FurryLittleProblem has left the chatroom.

**Thanks for reading this. And thanks to MarauderGirl71, whose story you should check out. It's about the Marauders and there a few awesome OC's mixed in with it. Read it, and review it. **

**And review this, if you like it. Please?**

**An e-KitKat to all who do XD**


	7. Chapter 7 Little and big

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't be breaking into a music shop at dead of night with a iron bar, trying to get a guitar to play on the streets for some money.

I may have lied a little there. I don't have an iron bar.

**AN: This chapter is (kind of) inspired by my brother, who got a fanfic account yesterday (yesterday being 19th June). And once again, thank you to everyone who reviews, and adds to favourites or alerts. This story's been a lot more popular than I expected! Without you, I wouldn't be writing :)**

**I have now added a name to the names list. Here it is:**

**FurryLittleProblem - Remus Lupin**

**SeriousLeeWhite - Sirius Black**

**LovingLily - James Potter**

**NoChance_James - Lily Evans**

**HalfBloodPrince - Severus Snape**

**Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin - Regulus Black**

**And if Regulus is a bit OOC, I don't know what he was like. I just made him up as a character. So sorry if you think he's too OOC.**

**IM Marauders Style**

Chapter seven - Little and big

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin has entered the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince has entered the chatroom.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Hi Severus!

HalfBloodPrince: Who is this?

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Regulus Black, of course :)

HalfBloodPrince: Well... I was told you were enthusiastic, but

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: This is so amazingly cool! I can't believe how cool it is that we can talk to each other wherever we are in the grounds, and all we have to do is type the words! It's awesome!

HalfBloodPrince: Err... yes. It is. Have you seen Evans? I must speak with her.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Yes I have! I saw her... ten minutes ago! But can you believe that we can talk to each other without moving our mouths?

HalfBloodPrince: I'll _re_move your mouth in a minute...

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: What do you mean by that, Severus?

NoChance_James has entered the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince: Guess you can't delete things from here, huh?

NoChance_James: No, it seems you can't.

HalfBloodPrince: Ah, Lily, I was just looking for you!

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Lily! Can you believe how amazing this technology is? We can talk to each other wherever we are, and we can spell things wrong! You can't spell things wrong when you're talking!

NoChance_James: Yes, it's great isn't it? What did you

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: And we can use symbols in odd places!

NoChance_James: Yes, you can. Severus, what was it you

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: And we can

HalfBloodPrince: Will you shut up, Black! I'm trying to talk!

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Sorry, Severus, I'm just so excited to be talking like this on here!

HalfBloodPrince: Okay, okay, I get it! I just wanted to ask you, Lily

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

NoChance_James: Hello, Sirius.

SeriousLeeWhite: Hey Lils!

NoChance_James: You are **never** allowed to call me that!

SeriousLeeWhite: Sorry Lily. I just heard James call you that once and I thought

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Hey big bro!

SeriousLeeWhite: Oh, it's you.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Aren't you happy to see me?

SeriousLeeWhite: Not particularly.

NoChance_James: That's not very nice, Sirius.

HalfBloodPrince: Enough of the chit-chat. Lily, I needed to ask

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Mum and Dad aren't happy with you, Sirius. They heard about what you did last week. Apparently they

HalfBloodPrince: Black, I don't care about what your parents think of an exploding jug of pumpkin juice. I must talk with

LovingLily has entered the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince: I am FED UP with

LovingLily: Lily?

NoChance_James: Yes?

LovingLily: I have to ask you something!

NoChance_James: Oh yes? And what would that be?

HalfBloodPrince: No, wait! I need to ask you something first!

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: This is so fun! I can read everything you're saying! Usually I have problems because I'm partially deaf. But I can

SeriousLeeWhite: Shut up now. Not another word.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Okay, sor

SeriousLeeWhite: That was a word and a half.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: But I

SeriousLeeWhite: That was

NoChance_James: This sounds like it could go on for a while. So what was it you wnated to ask me?

LovingLily: Will you

HalfBloodPrince: No, I spoke to her first! I get to ask!

LovingLily: No, **I**

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: This is SOOOOOO cool!

SeriousLeeWhite: ...The hell, Regi?

NoChance_James: Look, I've got to go to Herbology in 10 minutes. Please tell me what you want to ask, because I've got to get there early.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Why do you need to get there early?

HalfBloodPrince: Do you want

LovingLily: Do you want to go to the dance with me?

HalfBloodPrince: ... What the hell, Potter? I was just about to ask her if

LovingLily: Well, do you?

HalfBloodPrince: I was **just** about to ask her myself, Potter.

LovingLily: Well... I can type faster than you, so B-)

HalfBloodPrince: Well I will **not** stand for this! I'm leaving!

NoChance_James: No, don't

HalfBloodPrince has left the chatroom.

NoChance_James: go.

LovingLily: So how about it?

NoChance_James: No chance, James.

NoChance_James has left the chatroom.

LovingLily: Well that was nice of her.

SeriousLeeWhite: Don't worry about it, mate. She'll come to her senses one day.

LovingLily: Yeah, but

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: This is soooo

SeriousLeeWhite: Shut up.

LovingLily: But what if she doesn't want to go with me because she wants to go with Snivellus. What if she's gone to say yes to Snivellus? What if she loves Snivellus? What if she's going to marry

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Shut up.

SeriousLeeWhite: REGULUS!

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: ...eep?

LovingLily: Aww... don't get mad at him. He was only trying to copy you.

SeriousLeeWhite: Is that right?

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Errr... yes?

SeriousLeeWhite: You snivelling little liar.

LovingLily: Don't be mean to him!

SeriousLeeWhite: Siriusly? You made him cry last week! And he's my brother.

LovingLily: So?

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: So?

SeriousLeeWhite: Don't be a smart arse, Regi?

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Since when have you started calling me Rego?

SeriousLeeWhite: ...Regi.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: What?

SeriousLeeWhite: You know what.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: What?

LovingLily: You spelt it wrong.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Spelt what wrong?

LovingLily: ...You put 'Rego'.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Oh. Did I?

SeriousLeeWhite: **Yes**

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Oh. Sorry.

LovingLily: ...

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: ...

SeriousLeeWhite: ...

LovingLily: What were we talking about earlier?

SeriousLeeWhite: No idea. Ooh, yummy!

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: What was **that**?

LovingLily: He probably just saw Marlene.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Marlene?

LovingLily: Yeah. Marlene McKinnon.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Who's she?

LovingLily: ...You didn't hear it from me.

LovingLily has left the chatroom.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: Strange.

...

I'm all alone :(

...

There once was a girl named Marlene

Whose boyfriends were all really keen

But they hated each other

And she loved another

But it doesn't matter that much to me.

...

FurryLittleProblem has entered the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Hello? James? Peter? **Lily**? Can someone help me? Is anyone on here? Sirius is chasing me, and I don't know why. And I've just sat on my sandwich. And Sirius is mugging me for it. Help. Someone, help! I'm by the rose bushes on the grass! He's got my chocolate! Help! He's taking the computer! I need

ljblrg v nbkn;sbg'l

He's taking it! Please help!

He's

kflga; ;JKNB

FurryLittleProblem has left the chatroom.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin: That was so awesomely amazingly fantastically cool! I'm a witness to a mugging! That was ace!

...

I'm bored now.

Proud_to_be_a_Slytherin has left the chatroom.

**AN: Random ending, I know. You'll find out more about it in the next chapter, don't worry.**

**If you review, I'll get out of your fridge XD**


	8. Chapter 8 Not yourself

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or I wouldn't be digging up the entire grounds of J.K Rowling's house with a shovel, looking for an entrance to her cellar so I can sneak into her house.

I may have lied a little there. I don't have a shovel.

**AN: Yet another random idea. **

**Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 was the best film ever. Who else saw it on the day it came out? I'm happy to discuss all things Harry Potter (please!)**

**IM Marauders Style **

Chapter eight - Not yourself

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: Hey, is anybody

NoChance_James has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: on here? Oh, hi Lils.

NoChance_James: Hi Sirius. Don't call me Lils.

SeriousLeeWhite: Sorry Lilyflower.

NoChance_James: Grrr...

LovingLily has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: Oooh, tiger.

LovingLily: ...?

SeriousLeeWhite: Oh, it wasn't _you_ I was talking to, it was Lily.

LovingLily: You're flirting with my Lilyflower?

SeriousLeeWhite: Oh, no, I wa

NoChance_James: **YOUR** LILYFLOWER?

LovingLily: ...Oops?

SeriousLeeWhite: Good luck getting out of that one, mate.

LovingLily: I just meant...

NoChance_James: I know what you meant. Fancy coming with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?

LovingLily: ...

NoChance_James: ?

LovingLily: I feel kind of... faint. Are you being serious?

SeriousLeeWhite: No, I'M being

NoChance_James: Come on, that's getting a bit old now.

SeriousLeeWhite: It's not _my_ fault my parents decided to give me a name I can pun.

NoChance_James: Well you could just... not pun it?

SeriousLeeWhite: ...Oh yeah. Never thought of that.

NoChance_James: And you call yourse

LovingLily: Yes. I will.

NoChance_James: What?

LovingLily: Because you asked me to go

NoChance_James: Yeah, I know

LovingLily: So where do we meet? What time?

NoChance_James: Erm...

HalfBloodPrince has entered the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem has entered the chatroom.

LittleRat has entered the chatroom.

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince: Lilypetal, I was _just_ looking for you!

NoChance_James: The answer's still no, Severus. And calling me Lilypetal isn't any better.

HalfBloodPrince: But you

FurryLittleProblem: What's this about?

NoChance_James: It's... you know...

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: HEY REMUS!

FurryLittleProblem: Oh, hi, it's... you.

HalfBloodPrince: What have I told you, Regulus, about

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: Being on at the same tim as you. i know! but i just neededd to say Hi to remus.

FurryLittleProblem: Oh, it's _you_! You know you

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: Yeah, I know!

FurryLittleProblem: So why did you spell them wrong? And what's with all those capital letters not being used?

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: I hate you, you stupid boy, I'll curse you until your teeth fall out and your eyes shrivel up into nothing. I know the spells, you know, just you wait and see...

FurryLittleProblem: What?

NoChance_James: What?

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: Nothing! i love being on here, it's awesomely fantasitc!

FurryLittleProblem: ... You spelt fantastic wrong. I know you can spell, Regulus, last time you were on here you did it perfectly.

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: Oh, screw you, you stupid freak. What's your 'furry little problem' anyway? I bet you have no parts, that's why you're not interested in girls. And if you do I'll cut them off with a spell. I know them all, all the curses, you see. So don't you mess with me, or you'll see all the things I can do with my wand...

LovingLily: Hey, I know what you can do with your wand. You could take it and shove it up your a

NoChance_James: James!

LovingLily: Sorry, I

HalfBloodPrince: Actually, that's not such a bad idea. Clear off, Regulus, before I come and make you!

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: why, wat did i doo?

FurryLittleProblem: Why do you insist on being gramatically incorrect? I know perfectly well that you can spell correctly, and you _know_ how to us capital letters.

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: ...You spelt 'use' wrong.

HalfBloodPrince: Leave!

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: I hate you, Severus. I'll come into your room when you're sleeping, cause I know where you sleep, and I'll curse you until oh damn!

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin has left the chatroom.

LittleRat: Curse him until 'oh damn'? What does that mean, Remus?

FurryLittleProblem: It means he's encountered the fire breathing monster of Hogwarts dungeons. Legend says that he comes out at night

LovingLily: It's three in the afternoon right now.

FurryLittleProblem: He comes out at three in the afternoon to eat all students who aren't in class or in bed. And he cooks them first. They catch on fire if they can't run fast enough. Sometimes he'll sneak out to the rest of the castle searching for fresh blood too. He nearly caught me once. I barely escaped with my life. He set my pants on fire.

LittleRat: Really?

FurryLittleProblem: ...

LovingLily: Stop being so stupid Wormtail.

LittleRat: Yeah, stop being stupid Wormtail! Oh, you mean me...

FurryLittleProblem: Don't be so mean, Prongs.

NoChance_James: Hey, I'm just wondering... Why do you call him Prongs? And why is Sirius Padfoot? And the others.

FurryLittleProblem: It's cause I'm

LovingLily: It because he

LittleRat: It's because that's what animals they turn into.

LovingLily: WORMTAIL!

NoChance_James: ...What? He turns into a Prongs?

LittleRat: No, a stag.

NoChance_James: James...

LovingLily: He's obviously joking. _Isn't he_.

LittleRat: Oh, yes, he's joking, of course James.

LovingLily: And he's going now, isn't he?

LittleRat: Yes, he's going.

FurryLittleProblem: ...

LovingLily: ...

LittleRat: Oh right! Sorry James.

LovingLily: ...

NoChance_James: ...

HalfBloodPrince: ...

LovingLily: _Goodbye_ Peter.

LittleRat: Well what if I don't want to leave?

LovingLily: That's not important, is it?

LittleRat: Fine.

LittleRat has left the chatroom.

HalfBloodPrince: You're horrible to him.

NoChance_James: Yeah. Snivelous is right.

HalfBloodPrince: What?

NoChance_James: ...What?

HalfBloodPrince: You called me Snivellus.

NoChance_James: ...Did I? Oh, right, I'm sorry.

HalfBloodPrince: You don't sound sorry.

HalfBloodPrince has left the chatroom.

NoChance_James: And good riddance.

FurryLittleProblem: Lily? Are you okay?

LovingLily: You're still coming with me to Hogsmeade, aren't you?

NoChance_James: What? When did I ask that?

LovingLily: You mean you... don't remember?

NoChance_James: Remember what?

FurryLittleProblem: Lily, have you eaten or drunk anything unusual recently?

NoChance_James: Wha? No, no, I don't think soooooooooooooooooooooooo...

FurryLittleProblem: She's not right.

LovingLily: She's not going with me to Hogsmeade :(

NoChance_James: She's not Lily.

LovingLily: WHAAAAAT?

FurryLittleProblem: Marlene? Is that you?

NoChance_James: How did you guess?

FurryLittleProblem: Because you had to know Lily really well, like how she hates being called by a nickname by anybody but James.

LovingLily: What?

FurryLittleProblem: But you had to be one of her friends who called Severus 'Snivellus', and never spelt it right. And you had to be happy playing a prank on James.

NoChance_James: ...You have waaaay too much time on your hands, Remus.

LovingLily: Can't believe it wasn't Lilyflower, can't believe she's not asked me, why is life so cruel, can't believe

FurryLittleProblem: James?

LovingLily: Yeah?

FurryLittleProblem: Calm down.

LovingLily: Oh, right. Sorry, mate.

FurryLittleProblem: 'S okay.

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: I thought you were avoiding your brother?

SeriousLeeWhite: Yeah, I was. I'm just wondering why Regulus is running around the dungeons with his pants on fire, screaming about some fire breathing monster.

FurryLittleProblem: ...

LovingLily: Good luck with that.

LovingLily has left the chatroom.

NoChance_James: Hey Sirius!

NoChance_James has left the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: So?

FurryLittleProblem: What, you think _I _did this?

SeriousLeeWhite: ...

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: I should _never_ have left that baby Chimera in the store cupboard. Oh well...

FurryLittleProblem has left the chatroom.

**AN: Review, and I'll come out of your cupboard quietly...**


	9. Chapter 9 Hobbits and Wizards

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or I wouldn't be spending my days, sending copies of it to really obscure foreign countries, handwritten in scruffy pen to make it look like I wrote it, and passing it off as my own.

I may have lied a little there. I don't have a pen :(

**AN: Sorry that it's been **_**so**_** long to all of my faithful readers. School, starting GCSEs, family, stuff just kept getting in the way.**

**I don't know where the idea for this one came from. And I need not have bothered with that sentence, I never plan any of these. I hope you know enough about Lord of the Rings to know what's being said.**

**Oh, and I thought Dumbledore needs to be in this more! I don't mean to offend Dumbledore in anyway though, it's just how his character turned out.**

**Anyway… Enjoy ;)**

**IM Marauders Style**

Chapter 9 – Hobbits and wizards.

Albus_Dumbledore has entered the chatroom.

Albus_Dumbledore: Hello? Anybody on here? I need some help!

LittleRat has entered the chatroom.

Albus_Dumbledore: Ah, my little hobbit friend!

LittleRat: Professor Dumbledore? Are you alright?

Albus_Dumbledore: Why, yes, Frodo, I'm perfectly fine! Now, do you have the ring safe?

LittleRat: …I'm sorry, but I really

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin has entered the chatroom.

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: hey guysssss, any1 on her?

Albus_Dumbledore: Why, yes, at this very moment I'm on a lovely young lady called

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

LittleRat: I DON'T WANNA KNOW!

LittleRat has left the chatroom.

Albus_Dumbledore: Why, I seem to have upset young Frodo somehow…

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: His name's Pettigrew, you old

SeriousLeeWhite: REGULUS! Unless you want our _delightful_ parents to discover _exactly_ how you spend your pocket money, CLEAR OFF!

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: …You wouldn't dare…

SeriousLeeWhite: I'm serious!

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: Oh, I know you are…

SeriousLeeWhite: That's it! As soon as I'm old enough to know human transfiguration on _other_ subjects, I'm turning you into a germ, as you should have been born.

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: But you'll go to Azkaban for it! :D

SeriousLeeWhite: I know. It's worth it. Now PISS OFF!

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin: Fine!

Proud_To_Be_A_Slytherin has left the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: Now, Professor Dumbledore, what seems to be the problem?

Albus_Dumbledore: I told your young friend of my current sexual exploits, and

SeriousLeeWhite: STOP! Say no more.

Albus_Dumbledore: Whyever not?

SeriousLeeWhite: Well… Are you gay?

Albus_Dumbledore: Well, yes, but not at the _moment…_

SeriousLeeWhite: …

Albus_Dumbledore: Anyway, young Frodo

SeriousLeeWhite: Wait, who's Frodo?

Albus_Dumbledore: Your friend.

SeriousLeeWhite: O…kay, I can work with that. What do you want with him?

Albus_Dumbledore: Frodo currently has the ring. We must form a band of people to travel with him to Mordor to destroy it. Aragorn, will you join us?

SeriousLeeWhite: Erm… yeah, sure. Just one thing.

Albus_Dumbledore: Yes, my friend?

SeriousLeeWhite: What's Mordor?

Albus_Dumbledore: …You don't know? Then my friend, you must be in the wrong place!

SeriousLeeWhite: To be honest, Professor, I think _you're_ in the wrong place!

Albus_Dumbledore: Where do you think you are, Aragorn?

SeriousLeeWhite: I

FurryLittleProblem has entered the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Hey guys!

SeriousLeeWhite: Hi Rem! :)

FurryLittleProblem: Oh, thank goodness _you're_ on here! Last time I tried that, well, there's one group of Slytherins who are still convinced I'm gay and in love with them!

Albus_Dumbledore: And _are_ you gay?

FurryLittleProblem: … I

SeriousLeeWhite: Remus, we have a little problem.

FurryLittleProblem: Is it a furry

SeriousLeeWhite: I think Dumbledore's on drugs.

FurryLittleProblem: …

Albus_Dumbledore: …

SeriousLeeWhite: …

Albus_Dumbledore: What? That's preposterous! I mean, I have a bit of cannabis every so often, and I usually smoke a joint or two before my speeches, but that's about it!

FurryLittleProblem: So _that_ explains it!

SeriousLeeWhite: He kept calling Peter 'Frodo'. And what was that name you called me?

Albus_Dumbledore: Aragorn, why do you insist on calling Legolas by this strange name! It is most unnatural. And Remus?

FurryLittleProblem: Ye

Albus_Dumbledore: What sort of name is that anyway?

FurryLittleProblem: …My name? Professor Dumbledore, you spoke to me this morning. I'm a werewolf, my

Albus_Dumbledore: Oh, _Remus Lupin_! Of course! I never realised you were on here too! And young Sirius Black. Are you both willing to join me in the battle for Middle Earth?

SeriousLeeWhite: He's deranged.

FurryLittleProblem: He's talking about Lord of the Rings! I think.

SeriousLeeWhite: Is he? What's Lord of th

Albus_Dumbledore: Wha… how can you be on here, and not know what LotR is? It's… Oh…

SeriousLeeWhite: Yes, Professor?

Albus_Dumbledore: I'm on the wrong site. Same username and password. Oh well, best be off, Sauron won't defeat himself, you know ;)

Albus_Dumbledore has left the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: Did… did he just _wink_ at me?

FurryLittleProblem: Your parents are _this_ close to throwing you out, you're worried that you might be gay, your brother is a complete dick, your closest roommate is a werewolf, and _that's _what you're worried about?

SeriousLeeWhite: … Well, when you put it like _that_…

FurryLittleProblem: :p

SeriousLeeWhite: Anyway, best be off. Lots of evil thoughts to think. Those Slytherins won't prank themselves, you know!

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: And I'm worried _I'm_ crazy…

FurryLittleProblem has left the chatroom.

LovingLily has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily: Hey, everybody, DUMBLEDORE'S ON A WEIRD FANTASY PORN WEBSITE!

…

Anybody? Somebody?

…

Nobody :(

LovingLily has left the chatroom.

**AN: Just realised this is actually rather short! Oh well.**

**Review, and I'll stop poking you in your sleep…**


	10. Chapter 10 A Very Marauder Christmas

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't be hiding outside people's houses, waiting for Christmas morning when families throw away their wrapping paper, just so that I can eat it.

I may have lied a little there. I'm allergic to paper.

Let me say that again.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't be allergic to paper…

**AN: Merry Christmas to everyone reading this. If it's the middle of June…**

**Updates are obviously few and far between, but hopefully some people are still reading this. I love all of you who've read, or reviewed. And if this doesn't make you laugh at least once… I can do no more…**

**Anyway… enjoy!**

**IM Marauders Style**

Chapter 10 – A Very Marauder Christmas

Albus_Dumbledore has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

LovingLily has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: Merry Christmas, Prongs!

LovingLily: Ssssssssshhh…

SeriousLeeWhite: … Mate, we're talking ONLINE. No one can HEAR us.

LovingLily: Sssssssssso? Ssssssssssomeone could be sssssspying on usssss.

SeriousLeeWhite: … Are you trying to speak Parselmouth? Cause that's really offensive to some people.

LovingLily: No, I jusssst have a dodgy keyboard. It'sssss sssssstarting to sssssssssstick on the

SeriousLeeWhite: Yeah, yeah, I get the point. But

LovingLily: I can't do anything about it.

SeriousLeeWhite: Why don't you try to use words without 's' in them?

LovingLily: Then how am I to ssssssay… Oh…

SeriousLeeWhite: Yeah.

FurryLittleProblem has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: James has three testicles!

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

LovingLily: …

FurryLittleProblem: James?

LovingLily: Not true. Bloody Sssssssssiriusssssss….

FurryLittleProblem: ?

LovingLily: Keyboard. Keepsssssssss sssssssticking on ssssssssss.

FurryLittleProblem: Well stop using s then!

LovingLily: I'm trying!

FurryLittleProblem: Anyway, merry Christmas.

LovingLily: You don't ssssound very happy about that, mate.

FurryLittleProblem: Well, guess when the full moon has decided to fall this year.

LovingLily: Oh… Sorry to hear that.

FurryLittleProblem: It's okay. Better than…

LovingLily: Do you need a hug?

FurryLittleProblem: Yeah, probably.

LovingLily: Okay. There there…

FurryLittleProblem: … That's not a hug. That's just you saying some meaningless words on a computer and expecting all of my problems to go away! God, you're useless sometimes James! I can't believe you! Goodbye!

FurryLittleProblem has left the chatroom.

LovingLily: Wow, mood

NoChance_James has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily: y. Hi Lily.

NoChance_James: …Is that it?

LovingLily: Is what it?

NoChance_James: No happy faces, no desperate pleas for attention, no expressions of undying love?

LovingLily: Remus is upset with me for no reason.

NoChance_James: Ooh, is it his 'time of the month'?

LovingLily: What?

NoChance_James: What? Nothing! It's a joke!

LovingLily: Oh, I thought you'd found out

HalfBloodPrince has entered the chatroom.

NoChance_James: Oh, hey Sev. Found out what?

HalfBloodPrince: What?

LovingLily: Nothing! I wasn't gonna say anything!

HalfBloodPrince: Oh, it's you, Potter.

LovingLily: You know, normal people just say 'hello'.

HalfBloodPrince: Yeah, well you… Lily, he's picking on me!

NoChance_James: So?

HalfBloodPrince: But he's a complete arsehole! You know that!

NoChance_James: I've never known you to be so… what's the word?

LovingLily: Bitchy?

NoChance_James: Whiny! That's the word. You're a big boy, Sev, you can fight your own battles!

HalfBloodPrince: Well, if you don't want my company, I'll just lea

NoChance_James: No, don't be like that, Sev. It's Christmas. Goodwill to all, and so on.

HalfBloodPrince: I don't know why we celebrate Christmas anyway. We're witches and wizards! If there is a God, he's certainly not going to like us. You know, the whole 'witchcraft is evil' thing.

LovingLily: Oh, Sev, don't be grumpy ;)

HalfBloodPrince: I can't hel… James, did you just wink at me?

LovingLily: Sure did, sugar!

HalfBloodPrince: What? You… what?

NoChance_James: James, stop being… weird. Severus, of course there's a God, and of course he loves us. If we're good people, that is…

LovingLily: Why do I get the feeling you're both thinking about me?

HalfBloodPrince: Cause… you… never mind. Have a good Christmas, Lily.

NoChance_James: You too, Sev!

LovingLily: Yeah, have a good Christmas, Severus.

HalfBloodPrince has left the chatroom.

LovingLily: Well…

NoChance_James: You were nice to Severus. Why?

LovingLily: Because it's Christmas! Goodwill to all, and so on. ;)

NoChance_James: You know, if you were like that more often, I might…

LovingLily: Might…

NoChance_James: I've got to go. But… Merry Christmas.

LovingLily: Yeah, merry Christmas, Lily. See you after the holidays!

NoChance_James has left the chatroom.

LovingLily: Might… go out with me? Is that what she was going to say? I think

FurryLittleProblem has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily: Hi, Remus, I'm so sorry about earlier.

FurryLittleProblem: No you're not. But it's okay. :)

LovingLily: :)

FurryLittleProblem: Your keyboard's fixed itself.

LovingLily: Yeah…

FurryLittleProblem: Well…

LovingLily: You haven't seen Sirius lately, have you?

FurryLittleProblem: No, why?

LovingLily: Because I want to chop off his genitals with a rusty dagger.

FurryLittleProblem: What? You can't do that! How will we

LovingLily: I mean, I need to talk to him.

FurryLittleProblem: Oh, phew.

LovingLily: Why, what do _you_ mean?

FurryLittleProblem: …Nothing!

LovingLily: Well… Merry Christmas, Remus.

FurryLittleProblem: Merry Christmas, James.

LovingLily has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: At least he doesn't know about ring-toss. He _did_ wonder what the hoop was for…

Albus_Dumbledore: Hello, youngling.

FurryLittleProblem: Profes… did you catch any of that?

Albus_Dumbledore: Oh yes! Every word…

FurryLittleProblem: Oh…

Albus_Dumbledore: Don't worry about that! I often… play ring-toss with fine young men.

FurryLittleProblem: Oh, good, I… Professor Dumbledore, you do know _I_ mean **ring-toss**. Not…

Albus_Dumbledore: Oh, yes, so do I! But I trust my secret is safe with you.

FurryLittleProblem: No, I mean the thing where you throw a hoop, and try to get it onto a target. In this case…

Albus_Dumbledore: Oh… Hmm… Yes, so do I.

FurryLittleProblem: No, I'm not convinced.

Albus_Dumbledore: I'm telling the truth.

FurryLittleProblem: Professor Dumbledore, this is the first time I've ever got the opportunity to blackmail a teacher!

Albus_Dumbledore: Hmm… Alright then. I suppose it _is_ Christmas… But if you could make your demands _after_ Christmas, that would be preferable.

FurryLittleProblem: I'd best go now. Merry Christmas Professor.

Albus_Dumbledore: Merry Christmas, Remus.

Ring-toss… What a peculiar boy…

FurryLittleProblem: I'm still here.

Albus_Dumbledore: So you are! Would you like to join me with a glass of virtual egg-nog.

FurryLittleProblem: Oh, no thanks, Professor, I'm virtually lactose-intolerant.

FurryLittleProblem has left the chatroom.

Albus_Dumbledore: Oh, what I wouldn't give for a pair of woollen socks right now. ..

Albus_Dumbledore has left the chatroom.

**AN: Once again, Merry Christmas to you all! And if you don't celebrate Christmas, well, as the Americans say, Happy Holidays!**


	11. Chapter 11 Who the hell?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I'm sure JKR wouldn't have kept you waiting a year for _one_ chapter.

Sorry peoples.

**AN: So yeah, not even looked at this in over a year. I would say life got in the way buuuut… no. StarKid and other fandoms got in the way. Microsoft Word says that fandoms isn't a real word. Well screw you too Word!**

**Anyways, hope this is appreciated. And if you're still reading this story, I honestly love you.**

**IM Marauders Style**

Chapter 11 – Who the hell?

FurryLittleProblem has entered the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Umm… Guys? GUYS? I need a little help here.

SeriousLeeWhite has entered the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Oh, thank goodness, Sirius I need some help.

SeriousLeeWhite: Oh Merlin, you too?

FurryLittleProblem: …?

SeriousLeeWhite: I didn't realise… I'm sorry.

FurryLittleProblem: Realise… what?

SeriousLeeWhite: Errr… Nothing serious. Just

NoChance_James has entered the chatroom.

SeriousLeeWhite: Oh thank Merlin, Lily, Remus has a… problem.

NoChance_James: Right… What kind of problem?

SeriousLeeWhite: I may or may not have enchanted the pillows in the dorm room to sing Stayin' Alive at full volume when somebody puts their head on it.

FurryLittleProblem: …

NoChance_James: *Sigh* I'm not here to clean up your mess _every time_ Sirius. If you

FurryLittleProblem: You did _what_ Sirius?

SeriousLeeWhite: That… wasn't… what you were talking about.

FurryLittleProblem: And is there any way of getting rid of the charm?

SeriousLeeWhite: I… Yes, there is but I…

NoChance_James: I guess you don't know.

SeriousLeeWhite: Well…

NoChance_James: No, you don't. Seriously, Sirius, I

SeriousLeeWhite: Ooh look, a butterfly!

SeriousLeeWhite has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: I could strangle him sometimes.

NoChance_James: I know the feeling. So… You have a problem?

FurryLittleProblem: Umm… yes. There's this guy following me.

NoChance_James: And he's in the school grounds?

FurryLittleProblem: Well… yes.

NoChance_James: A student?

FurryLittleProblem: Doesn't look like one.

NoChance_James: Have you ever seen him before?

FurryLittleProblem: He looks vaguely familiar. But I… have no idea why.

NoChance_James: So what

LovingLily has entered the chatroom.

LovingLily: I DID IT!

NoChance_James: I don't even wanna know.

FurryLittleProblem: James?

LovingLily: I got you! Hahaha!

FurryLittleProblem: Umm… What? That's you?

LovingLily: Hahaha! I knew it! You thought

FurryLittleProblem: SERIOUSLY JAMES I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. I'M HIDDEN IN ONE OF THE DANGEROUS GREENHOUSES AND I HAVE CHARMS IN 3 MINUTES.

LovingLily: Wait, what?

FurryLittleProblem: You read what I wrote.

LovingLily: Yes, but… in one of the greehouses? Really? A bit of an overreaction don't you think?

FurryLittleProblem: ?!

LovingLily: It's only a small explosion!

NoChance_James: Wait, what?

LovingLily: Hey Lils! I… erm… enchanted Remus's quill to explode when he next wrote with it. And… shower him in flowers and sparkles. But he looks so FUNNY right now! :D

NoChance_James: …

FurryLittleProblem: …

LovingLily: …?

FurryLittleProblem: That's not… me.

LovingLily: What? No? Don't be silly, of course it's you? Hi Remu… Wait, no… that's not you… They look a bit annoyed… Erm… got to ;hrb…shggekuhgb

**Cannot connect to user:LovingLily. Sorry for the inconvenience.**

NoChance_James: So what's this mystery guy wearing?

FurryLittleProblem: Huh… What? Don't you think we should help him?

NoChance_James: Don't worry, I can see him. He's… fine. Ish.

FurryLittleProblem: …

Lily?

NoChance_James: I'm back. I just went to… help James. He's unconscious and not in any pain. So, the guy?

FurryLittleProblem: W… Yeah, erm… He had a suit on, made of tweed… Suspenders and a bowtie.

NoChance_James: Gotta be a wizard then. Did he say anything?

FurryLittleProblem: I

HalfBloodPrince has entered the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Severus, do you know what's going on?

HalfBloodPrince: So it worked? It actually worked?

NoChance_James: For goodness sake, Severus, it's _you_?

HalfBloodPrince: Hey Lils! Erm… nothing… just asmalllittlespellthatmayorma ynothaveturnedRemusbrightblu e.

FurryLittleProblem: Why is everyone trying to prank me? For MERLIN'S SAKE.

HalfBloodPrince: You must admit, it's quite amusing, hiding my charm in the jelly.

NoChance_James: I am honestly sick of you boys. Why are you all picking on Remus? And I've told you NOT TO CALL ME LILS.

HalfBloodPrince: I'm sorry! But it's really fun and I want to see your face right now. Only I know the antidote, so get your arse over to Charms right NOW. Flitwick's looking for you.

NoChance_James: I swear, Severus

FurryLittleProblem: I CAN'T get to Charms because

HalfBloodPrince: You're embarrassed? Don't worry, once you accept me as the superior charm maker, I'll remove the spell and you can

FurryLittleProblem: THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM I HAVE THIS WEIRD CREEPY ENTHUSIASTIC GUY FOLLOWING ME AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON AND SCREW YOUR CHARM I DIDN'T EVEN EAT THE JELLY BUT IF YOU THINK YOU'RE THE SUPERIOR CHARM MAKER THEN FIND OUT WHO THIS GUY IS OR SOMETHING CAUSE I'M NOT COMING OUT TIL HE'S GONE CAUSE HE HAS THIS WEIRD GLOWING BLUE THING IN HIS HAND AND I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S DANGEROUS OR NOT.

HalfBloodPrince: … Wow.

HalfBloodPrince has left the chatroom.

FurryLittleProblem: Just…

NoChance_James: Well if you'd like, I could get out of Charms and come and find you?

FurryLittleProblem: Erm… I think he's gone now, don't worry. I'm coming to class. Just hold OH MERLIN

NoChance_James: Dammit!

FurryLittleProblem: Hello?

NoChance_James: Remus?

FurryLittleProblem: Oh, is that his name?

NoChance_James: Who are you?

FurryLittleProblem: My name's The Doctor. I'm a… well… something.

NoChance_James: How did you get here?

FurryLittleProblem: In a little big blue box! Don't worry, I'm not here to hurt anybody. But my box sort of… fell… into the lake. Can you tell me if there's anything dangerous in there?

NoChance_James: Where's Remus?

FurryLittleProblem: He's right here. I promise I'll get him to his lesson and give him his laptop back as soon as I have my blue box back. She probably misses me.

NoChance_James: I suppose… I should probably trust you.

FurryLittleProblem: Good! I love it when they do that. Makes life easier.

NoChance_James: There's a Giant Squid, possibly Merpeople, and Grindylows.

FurryLittleProblem: Great! Cool! I'll be back soon.

NoChance_James: Wait, sir!

FurryLittleProblem: He's gone.

NoChance_James: Remus?

FurryLittleProblem: Finally, yes.

NoChance_James: How do I know this?

FurryLittleProblem: You're Lily Evans and I'm Remus Lupin. I didn't give our last names to the weird guy. I think he's harmless, he just really likes this… box thing. Wait…

NoChance_James: What's going on?

FurryLittleProblem: I just heard this weird whooshing sound. Like… I don't even know what it sounds like. Just weird. I'm gonna check it out.

NoChance_James: This is way too overwhelming for a Tuesday.

FurryLittleProblem: I looked outside and I found this note on the ground that says 'Thank you for your help, Remus, now off to lessons with you.' I… guess he found his blue box.

NoChance_James: I guess it's all over then? What're you gonna tell Flitwick?

FurryLittleProblem: I dunno, erm… Peeves held me up. Where's Peeves?

NoChance_James: Last I saw him was seventh floor. I guess that'll work.

FurryLittleProblem: Great!

NoChance_James: Or you could tell him the truth?

FurryLittleProblem: …

NoChance_James: …

FurryLittleProblem: Hahahahaha! No.

NoChance_James: I know! Why would we tell him about a random guy who appeared and disappeared again with no warning and we have no idea who he is?

FurryLittleProblem: I know! Crazy… I wonder how he got his box out of the lake so quickly…

NoChance_James: Yeah… See you in 5 minutes?

FurryLittleProblem: Yep!

NoChance_James has left the chatroom.

LittleRat: Hello?

FurryLittleProblem: Sorry Peter, gotta get to class.

FurryLittleProblem has left the chatroom.

LittleRat: Anyone? I need help! I'm trapped in the dorm and my pillow's singing at me and I'm bright blue and I don't know what's going on! Halp?

…

Anyone?

…

Aww…

LittleRat has left the chatroom.

**AN: I love me some authors notes. **

**So I was writing and the Doctor just appeared, so I thought why not? If you're not a Doctor Who fan I can't tell if you'll enjoy or not, I don't exactly have a non-Whovian's perspective.**

**So I hope anybody who still wants to read this can forgive me for the wait. **

**Apparently Whovian isn't a word either. Well… It is now *Begin slow and sinister smile***

**Thanks for reading!**


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